Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
