he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize