Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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