3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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