dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
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