Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
