Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
