The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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