I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
He has the fingertips of a God
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