i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
