i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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