Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
