we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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