Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
