I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Randomize
