Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize