Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
