Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
