Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
