some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Randomize
