What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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