No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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