Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
