Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
In America we eat man semen.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
