Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
