Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
