Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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