I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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