yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
honey bunches of taint.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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