ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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