Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
