I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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