Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Randomize
