I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
