Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
