thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
