I cannot find my penis.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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