im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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