Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(312): View more from Illinois

You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?

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(214): View more from Texas

Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!

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(828): View more from North Carolina

had another sex dream about alec baldwin...

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(907): View more from Alaska

The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.

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(248): View more from Michigan

Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.

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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning

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(+61): View more from Australia

THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.

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(585): View more from New York

Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.

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