we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
