Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
