I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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