The maid of honor just puked.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize