Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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