U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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