We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
