i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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