who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
