i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
