Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Randomize