Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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