how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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