I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize