Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
This is classic penis vs brain.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
