Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
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