I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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