And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Randomize
