My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
FUCK WHALES
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