I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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